BMX XXX Review

This game caused quite a controversy when it was first released. I remember some stores not having it for sale because of it’s adult theme. Now that this game was released and bombed really hard, you can easily get it for less than 5$ on ebay. Is it still worth it though?

I got it mainly because of the low price, and because I thought it couldn’t be all that bad, especially after I had bought Charlie’s Angels. My impressions are kind of a mixed bag as I thought it was good at the beginning, but then it got bad, and mediocre at the end. You mostly pay the 5$ because you expect to see a few titties and maybe some beaver action, but when you find out that you have to unlock all that stuff by completing all of the goals in a stage, then it gets quite frustrating. Not only that, but the videos suck (even though the girls look good) and there is no beaver to be seen. Disapointed? I sure was. When you call a game BMX XXX you have to deliver!

I haven’t played any of the other BMX games from Z-Axis that much but I do know that most people liked them. Hopefully, the controls weren’t as bad as in this game. It’s kind of responsive at times, and at other times you’ll want to throw your controller out the window (but please don’t do it, especially if it’ a wavebird!) because you won’t be able to perform exactly what you wanted and you’ll have to start again. In a game like this, you’ve got to have controls that are responsive as you’ve got to be fast when performing your tricks. That gave me a really hard time in competitions where I had to start again and again and again for over an hour in order to complete them. In a game like Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater I could do it in just a few tries.

Talking about competitions, here are the features of the game in case you were interested. You’ve got the story mode where you have to complete all of the 6 stages and 2 competitions. Each of those stages has 20 challenges that you have to complete. Some are quite difficult because you sometimes don’t know exactly what to do. As you progress into the game the stages also become bigger and more complicated and it can become a real pain in the ass. At some point I just had to stop and get the codes on the net because I just couldn’t take it anymore. The first stages are also a lot cooler than the last ones. The Bronx and The Dam were pretty cool, but after that it became extremely boring. You can also find spare parts to upgrade your bike, there are gaps to jump in each stage (20) and lots of stuff to collect. If you thought Donkey Kong 64 had a lot, then imagine having the same thing here, except you are riding are unresponsive BMX. You can also customize your characters and dress them like you want, give them bigger boobs, the usual stuff you know. There’s also a multiplayer mode and extras that you can view as you unlock them.

Like in any other extreme sport game, they tried to include as much tricks as possible. You can perform a lot, but the controls make it difficult to actually do what you want. You can do wallrides, grinds, manuals, wheelies, spins… Manuals are quite fun and I really liked doing them as they looked pretty good.

Graphics aren’t that great though. Everything looks blocky and at first I wasn’t sure if I was playing a GameCube game or not as it seemed it could have been easily done on Dreamcast. Well, maybe not, but it’s far from impressive. Textures are average, and there aren’t any spectacular effects. That’s not a game you’ll be using to show your friends how powerful your little purple box is, unfortunately. Same goes for the sound. Sound effects are OK as they do what they are supposed to, and there is some licensed music in there that suits the game. Besides that there isn’t much to say, it’s pretty disapointing that Z-Axis has done something that looks that bad.

The game itself is still quite original, and it can be funny at times. Problem is that it’s mostly funny at the beginning and then it gets repetitives. Characters use a really bad language and there are lots of references to sex, so this one really isn’t for kids. The reason why most people bought it is probably to be able to see some nudity, and it’s in there. The dansers did their job, it’s Z-Axis who didn’t.

So if you want to add 1 more game to your collection and don’t want to pay much, you could always buy this one. It makes your collection look bigger and you get to see some titties. But like most people will tell you, if you have to buy a game to see some, then you probably have a problem.